The plastic man again

Monday 8th February 2010

I had an appointment to see the Plastic Surgeon that afternoon. As usual we couldn’t get parked at the hospital. John dropped me off then went back home to wait for a phone call from me to say I was finished.

When I got to the waiting area I handed my appointment card to an auxiliary nurse.
“Can you walk over to the scales as I need to weigh you”, she asked.
I stared at her, “I’m in a wheelchair”, I replied.
“It doesn’t matter”, she huffed…

Another auxiliary nurse then called out my name and insisted on pushing me into the consulting room.

A couple of minutes later the plastic man arrived.
“I’m Mr Erdman”, he said, “what do you want”.
“Err”, I replied, quite taken aback at his comment, “Mr Green referred me to see you”.
“You want a new hip, I take it”, he said rather abruptly.
“It would be nice”, I said.

He flicked through my notes, “I no nothing about you”, he said, “so you’ll have to fill me in with all the details”.
I thought this was rather strange as Kermit had said they had had several lengthy phone call chats regarding me, however I briefly gave him my medical history.

He took a look at my hip then muttered to himself.

“The ankles and the hips are the worst places to do skin grafts”, he said, “as there’s no decent blood supply”.
“Ok”, I said, “but is it still possible”.
“Anything’s possible”, he snapped.
“What about the muscle transplant that Mr Green has said I would need to hold the hip in place”.
“Can’t be done”, he spat, “once it’s gone, it’s gone”.
“That wasn’t the impression I got from Mr Green when I was in hospital”, I commented, “if my wound hadn’t stopped leaking, I was to have a muscle transplant to mop up the surplus fluid”.
“I don’t know anything about that”, he said.
“That’s not what Kermit or your underling had said when I was in hospital”, I thought….

I left the consulting room with the impression that he wasn’t in the least bit interested in me and that he had no intention of doing the muscle transplant and skin graft.

I would be interested to see what he actually wrote in my notes to Kermit….