Lioness to the rescue

Friday 26th August 2011

Although my Mam can appear to have no tact or compassion, she will fight my corner.

She explained today that she'd put someone in their place over a comment they had made about me.

Mam had met this person, we'll call X, in town and they went for a coffee together. X knew about my hip problem and so asked how I was getting on.

Mam explained that things weren't too good for me but I was getting there.

“So she should”, replied X, “what's the big deal about having no hip”.

That was the wrong thing to say..... My Mam suddenly became a lioness and I was one of her cubs. She really did lay into her !!!!

I know where I get my fighting spirit from.

Lloyd’s part two

Tuesday 23rd August 2011

After being told by Lloyd's that my prescription would be here today I was getting a little worried as it had gone 4.45pm and there was still no sign of them. 

I rang them.

“It's on the van”, the little woman snapped, after I inquired after it, “Paul's off so we're doing the best we can. It's not only you who is expecting prescription. We've been inundated with calls from delivery customers asking where items are”.

Pardon me for asking !!!! 

Had she told me they were still to be delivered I could have asked John to pick them up when he finishes work. However all I know it's on the van and as the van drivers usual finish just after 4pm, the chances of me getting my prescription today is looking very slim.

5.30pm: no van

5.45pm: no van

6.10: Hooray. He's finally arrived !!!!!

Lloyd’s part one....

Monday 22nd August 2011

Last Monday I rang the prescription hotline at my GP's to order some more oxy-norm and oxy-contin and was told it would be ready on Wednesday.

As my prescriptions are picked up, dispensed and delivered by Lloyd’s Pharmacy, I normally can expect to receive them when I was told my script would be ready.

Paul, Lloyd’s delivery driver, lives in the same street as us so normally delivers any prescriptions on his way home or back to work following his lunch and when he's finished work for the day.

No prescriptions arrived yesterday which occasionally happens if they've had to order them in, especially seeing as they're both controlled drugs.

However when Paul didn't arrive at any of his usual times, and I know he finishes work just after 4pm, I rang Lloyd’s

“I'm really sorry Mrs Harper but we're having huge problems with our prescription delivery service. Paul's on two weeks leave and we are having problems getting a replacement driver. I'll go and check to see when it's going to be delivered”.

“Mrs Harper”, she said after I had been on hold for several minutes, “can I ring you back as we can't find your script”.

15 minutes later she rang back.

“Mrs Harper”, she said a little tentatively, “there seems to have been a slight problem. The girl who you spoke at the doctors when you ordered your prescription had to go home as she wasn't very well. It would seem that your prescription has been misplaced”.

“Misplaced”, I repeated, “from where. The doctors or Lloyd’s”.

“The doctors”, she replied, “the girls there have checked everywhere for your prescription, but it's disappeared. They're going to arrange another one and it'll be ready tomorrow”.

“When will I get my prescription”, I asked, “as I've only got enough oxi-norm to last me until tomorrow night”.

“Tomorrow afternoon”, she confirmed.

To be continued.....

It's official

Monday 18th August 2011 

In the post that morning I received the exercise programme referral which Dr Blake said she would do.

On the form it asks for medical conditions and on it she's ticked 'back problems' and 'depression'.

So it's official, I am depressed.

That's depressing !!!!!!

A long chat

Wednesday 3rd August 2011

Had an appointment to see Dr Blake that evening. Normally when you see a GP you’re allowed seven, maybe eight minutes consultation time. I was in there for half an hour….

“How’re doing”, asked Dr Blake.

“Not good”, I sighed.

We started first on my painkillers and their side effects.

“Try reducing the Gabapenin to 500mg”, she suggested, “if that’s still no good, go to 400mg but no lower than that”.

We then moved onto me feeling low.

“Have you thought about counselling”, she asked.

“I doubt that will make any difference”, I replied, “I already know what’s causing me to feel low and talking about it won’t help”.

“It’s sad about what happened to your hip”, she said, “I’ve known you for a long time and you’ve never let anything get in your way. You had such determination”.

I nodded and sighed, “that’s why I’m finding things hard now”.

I then explained about my struggle to keep my weight down.

“Could it be possible for me to see a dietition”, I asked, “because I’m not moving around I’m not burning off the calories. I’d like to see how I can go about reducing my calorie intake”.

Dr Blake shook her head, “you seem to be regulating your diet ok so a dietion isn’t going to help. What would you say to me referring you to see a neuro physio. They will be able to advise what exercise would be best for you to do”.

I was still doing the exercises that Caren from Silver Cloud had given me so a couple more wouldn’t hurt.

“I’ll also refer you onto the exercise programme”, she continued, “a personal trainer from one of the local gyms will put together a training programme for you. It could be in the gym, in the pool. How does that sound?”.

“Sounds good”, I replied.

“Come back and see me in two months”, said Dr Blake, when we had finished our long chat, “hopefully the paperwork for the physio and the exercise programme will have gone through by then and that the reduction of the Gabapentin will be doing some good”.

I hope so…..

Today was not a good day

Monday 1st August 2011

I had no sleep that night. I tried listening to an audio book on my MP3 player but I got bored with that. I tried reading my Kindle but got bored with that. I even tried watching ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ on my MP4 player. That didn’t work either….

I was so low that I spent the day crying. It was ridiculous. After a crying session I’d calm myself down, then something trivial would trigger the tears and off I went.

One occasion was reading something on the internet. It was a little quiz to see if you were suffering from depression. The answer came back to say ‘you are suffering from depression – see your GP for treatment’. I burst into tears !!!!

Later that evening after we had finished our dinner, John suggested I had a little nap on the sofa for half an hour. He got me my blanket and ‘Bengy and Albert’, my Westie cushion and tucked me in.

“I’ve put QVC’ on for you, he said, switching on the satellite box.

When I’m tried but can’t sleep I put QVC on, and it sends me straight to ‘the Land of Nodd’.

John woke me two hours later…..

Typical Mam

Friday 29th July 2011

My low moods were still getting me down, however I was trying my best not to burst into tears.

My Mam asked me when I was next at the doctors.

“I go on Wednesday”, I replied.

“Is she going to change your tablets”, she asked.

“I’m not sure”, I said, my voice changing pitch as I was trying to stop myself from crying.

“What’s the matter”, she enquired.

“It’s my moods”, I said, tears now streaming down my cheeks, “I’m feeling so low at the moment”.

My Mam looked at me then snapped, “cheer up, will you !!”.

Thanks Mam….

Later that afternoon when we were chatting away about something my Mam said, “I don't know how to say this as you'll just start crying again...”

Great one for compassion is my Mam. I never did get to know what it was that would have made me cry again......

Sleepy head

OK so Spring turned into Autumn.... Here's the next installment of the Joint Journals.

Tuesday 26^th July 2011

Oh, to have a good nights sleep !!!!!!!

First, it was my right knee giving me painful sleepless nights then it was my ‘pressure sore’. Now it’s my hip (or rather lack of it) and my back.

Whenever I need to turn over in bed I have to actually wake up as my leg is so floppy without a hip it can’t move on it’s own. Sometimes it’s hanging out of the bed, others times it’s in weird and wonderful position either in the bed or on my body….

Lying in bed sometimes brings the worst out of my pains so the slightest movement sets it off.

Now there’s a new ‘kid on the block’ to keep me awake , my wrist, as one of the symptoms of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is severe pins and needles. If that wasn’t enough depression can cause sleepless nights.  

To try to help me get off to sleep – or rather to relieve the boredom – I listen to audio books on my MP3 player. So far I’ve ‘read’:

• Great Expectations
• The Secret Garden
• The ‘What Katie Did’ series
• The ‘Anne of Green Gables’ series
• Sense and Sensibility (twice)
• Pride and Prejudice (twice)
• The Railway Children
• The Secret Garden
• Little Women

I’m also putting my Kindle to good use. As I don’t want to disturb John by putting on the bedside light to read, I bought myself a headlight so I feel like a child secretly reading under the bed covers.

Amazon offer free download books for the Kindle so I’ve been building up my Kindle library. Most of the books aren’t really my type but I’m not after a good read. I’m after something that sends me to sleep.

Tonight was a bad night for getting no sleep. I tried my audio books and my Kindle but it wasn’t until 5am that I finally got off to sleep.

When John’s alarm went off at 7.30am I could have cried. After we have breakfast and John has gone upstairs to get ready for work, I would normally read the newspaper until he’s ready to leave for work. This morning I pushed the newspaper to one side of the sofa and laid my head on the arm of the sofa.

The next thing I knew John was wakening me to say he was off to work. I had no recollection of going to sleep.

After kissing John off to work I crawled back into bed and didn’t wake up about 11.30am. Again, I had no recollection of nodding.

That night, like many nights, come 9.30pm/10pm I was fighting to keep my eyes open. Thankfully John understands and doesn’t mind me falling asleep when we’re watching TV or a DVD.

It now happens so often that John asks if I’d like my blanket and cushion when we settle down for the evening…..

Taking a break

The Joint Journal is taking a break. However it'll be back in the Spring.

Dr Chapman again

Tuesday 19^th July 2011

Once again Dr Chapman rang back about my painkillers. I told her that my ankles were still badly swollen, I still wasn’t sleeping and that I was still pretty low.

“Ok. Lets reduce them down to one a night for a week then stop altogether. I think we need to get you into the surgery”, she said.

I could hear her tapping away on her computer.

“I’m afraid that I’m not available during the times you came come to the surgery”, she said, “however Dr Blake is. How does 6.30pm on Wednesday 3^rd August sound”.

“That’s fine with me”, I replied.

“Good”, she said, typing away, “your appointment is made. I’ll fill Dr Blake in with everything that’s happened. Hopefully once your body is clear of the Nortripaline, you should be feeling a little better”.

“I hope so”, I replied….

Feeling low

Monday 20th June 2011

Had an appointment to see Dr Chapman that evening about my painkillers. She’d like to review them so asked if I could come and see her.

I’d been feeling really low for a while – couldn’t be bothered to do anything, no energy, not sleeping, being tearful a lot, that kind of thing.

I suspected the problem was the big ‘D’….. I did a quick questionnaire on one of the medical websites and put in my symptoms. It came up with the answer ‘you are suffering from depression’. I bust into tears !!!

I burst into tears when I was in Dr Chapman’s surgery too. She’d been asking how I had been feeling and it just all came out. I felt such a idiot crying in front of her.

“Don’t worry yourself Marie. That’s what I’m here for”, she said.

That made cry even more !!!!

She thought it was either a side effect of my medication as they can cause depression and low moods, or it was simply everything catching up with me.

I was offered counselling but said no. I knew what the cause of my low moods were, and talking about them wouldn’t help. It wasn’t like I was feeling low because I hate my job and the solution was to change it. No amount of talking to a counsellor was going to make things better for me…

Dr Chapman suggested I came off the Nortripaline gradually as although they are a painkiller/antidepressant, they could cause low moods. She also suggested reducing my Gabapentin just to see if that made a difference.

“I’ll give you a ring in two weeks”, she said, “and hopefully by then you are feeling a little better”.

I hope so…