Day 39 – So sad

Saturday 17th October 2009

My dressing looked like it was dry again so everyone was keeping their fingers crossed.

I was still on gentle exercise so was only allowed to make two walking trips to the loo. I was also allowed two visits to see Mary but only if I made them via going to the loo. As she was confined to quarters as well we hardly saw much of each other.

Felt sick again so had to have another bowl shortly after I had taken the antibiotics. Tomorrow I’ll try taking them with food instead of just after.

I added up all the tablets I was taking and it came to 41 per day !!!! That doesn’t include any extra painkillers I may need. No wonder I was feeling sick. They must have been all fighting with one another…

The nurses had moved Arthur into a side ward to give him a bit of privacy. They have also been bending the rules about visiting times so he had visitors most of the day.

The nurses were getting a little concerned about him as he didn’t seem to be grieving and they thought it hadn’t quite hit him about his wife yet.

I popped into say hello just after his evening visitors had left. We chatted about bits and pieces for a few minutes then he volunteered to tell me about his wife.

They had just come back from visiting their son in Canada. His wife had been ill for some time and he knew this would probably be the last time she saw him. He had wanted to cancel his operation but she wouldn’t let him. However the day he was admitted into hospital she became gravely ill and was taken to the QE hospital.

She was put straight on a life support machine but sadly there was no hope. The QE contacted the hospital and arrangements were made for him to go and say goodbye before they switched off the machine.

He explained that he thought the nurses would have wanted him to show some emotion, but he said he wasn’t that type of person, and never had been. He got a little upset when he thought that people would think he was a horrible man for not showing any grief towards his wife.

He was also very upset as they had made a pact that he would be the one to go first as she was able to take care of herself. He explained that he had no hobbies, he just enjoyed his wife’s company and didn’t know what he would all day without her. My heart really went out to him and it took a lot of effort to hold back the tears. We sat and chatted about how he could fill in his time and he promised he would give all my suggestions a try.

I couldn’t believe that I was there for over 1 ½ hours. When I was about to leave he asked if there would be another cup of coffee given out that evening. I replied that the last one was at 7pm, but I would ask one of the nurses if they could bring him one. He told me not to bother, but thanked me for the offer.

I saw nurse Aileen walking along the corridor and asked if she could sort out his cup of coffee. She was only too pleased to do so.

Mary was desperate to know what I’d managed to find out so I didn’t get back into my room until 11.30pm.

No sooner had I got myself into bed, Aileen came in and asked how Arthur was. The staff were concerned that he hadn’t opened up to anyone about his wife. I reassured her that Arthur was ok.