Day 29 – Trip to the woodshed

Wednesday 7th October 2009

Today was my trip to the woodshed – or was it...

I couldn’t help thinking that it wasn’t going to happen today and that it would be rescheduled for tomorrow. It was all well and good for them to say ‘sorry but we can’t fit you in today, we’ll do it tomorrow’, but it’s not them who had to do the actual waiting.

I was allowed to have breakfast at 8am instead of 6am, which meant that I would be late afternoon, at the earliest. I didn’t mind not having anything to eat, it was the lack of fluid that bothered me.

I was given a few sponge ‘lollipops’ to keep my lips from drying out but my mouth was so dry.

I thought I’d been quite nervous but I wasn’t too bad. It’s the waiting around that’s the worst. I was still concerned though about the anaesthetic.

Although I had been told many times that modern anaesthetics were better at preventing sickness, I couldn’t help think back to the time I had my hip replaced. I threw up constantly for 12 hours. It started at the beginning of the nurse nightshift so all I was given were a couple of kidney bowls and told just to get on with it.

I was hoping the anaesthetist would call and see me so I could have a chat with him.

Doctor Zara popped in for a chat. I asked her once the wound had been washed out etc, when would I be able to go home. She said in about another week. Another week !!!!!!!!!

Zara let slip that questions in high places had been asked as to why I was still in hospital. Apparently if a patient wasn’t home within what ‘they’ called a reasonable time, ‘they’ demanded to know why. I agreed with ‘them’, let me go home….

Doctor Richard also called in for me to sign the consent forms. He went through the various things that could go wrong and one of them was that I would need another washout if it didn’t stop leaking. Don’t even think about it !!!!

Had a visit from the social worker. After asking various questions, it turned out that there wasn’t anything she could do for me. Figures…

While I was waiting to go down to the woodshed, Alicia tried me walking on crutches again. Worked a fair way (well it was for me anyway) and wasn’t wobbly.

One of the nurses told me that my op would be due between 2pm – 2.30pm so I put on my theatre (or should that be woodshed) gown.

One of the woodshed nurses came to see me. She was doing a follow-up on patients who had recently been to the woodshed. She asked if I had any concerns about this visit. I mentioned about throwing up and she said she would have a word with the anaesthetist and that she would see me there sometime around 4pm. So much for 2pm….

The trolley came at 3pm so that wasn’t too bad. John, the young auxiliary nurse, was supposed to escort me down but Louise said she’d do it. I didn’t think she trusted him as he wasn’t the brightest of sparks.

While we waited for one of the woodshed nurses to book me in, we chatted about everything and anything. Bra sizes was one such topic… Louise commented that every time we had a chat it was never about medical things.

A young woodshed assistant ‘booked’ me in. He reminded me very much of ‘Owen’ from Torchwood. Once Louise had gone we had a good chat. The anaesthetists assistant from my last visit came over and said hello.

I was enjoying chatting to ‘Owen’ when another assistance came over and said he could go for his break as she would say with me. I tried talking to her but all I got was moans – she didn’t like her work, she didn’t like her husband. I was so glad when she had to leave to answer the phone.

The anaesthetist came over and introduced himself. Sadly it wasn’t the same one as last time. He told me that Kermit wouldn’t be doing the operation as he was still busy in theatre with another patient. I would be operated on by one underlings. I didn’t really like the anaesthetists manor. He wasn’t a very pleasant person. I explained about my throwing up to which he replied “I better put an apron on so you don’t vomit on my clothes”. Charming….

I started to wake up from the operation as I was being wheeled into the recovery room and was wide awake when I got there. My hip was throbbing and as I wasn’t connected to the morphine drip (they only did that for major operations) all they could give me was paracetamols.

‘Owen’ came over to say hello and asked if I was ok. The nurse who came to see me that afternoon asked if the anaesthetist had done anything for my sickness. I explained that he wasn’t that bothered. She was not amused.

I was back on the ward just before 6pm. Kairen, the South African staff nurse, had just got me settled when John arrived. He was most impressed that I was sitting up in bed waiting for him to come.

The nurses had kept a salad from the dinner trolley for me as they knew I’d be hungry when I got back, so Kairen brought it in for me.

As I was hooked up to a drip (I think it was something to re-hydrate me), John had to cut up my salad. He asked what the meat was in the salad. I wasn’t sure. It looked like no meat I’d ever seen before….